I didn’t even look to see how long it’s been. It’s been a hot minute, I know that much.
If I had to guess, it was probably around the time I became aware I was going to be a grandma. Yeah. A grandma. I am over that title as far as shock. I was far more shocked to learn my daughter would become a mom.
All told, they lived with me 2 years. As of mid June, the 3 of them are off on their own. As trying as it was for many reasons-most of which were my need for solitude, quiet and personal space-the last year since my grandson’s arrival is probably also the best thing that ever happened to me. Living with a baby again, something I had not done in decades. It goes without saying he is the most sweetest, handsome and brilliant boy to ever be born. He turned 1 in July, started walking in June and has not stopped moving yet.
They moved fairly close-by so I see him several times a week and he sleeps over once a week. The days I don’t see him in person, we Facetime. Sometimes more than once. He is without question, the second love of my life, first of which is his mother. She is great, her husband is great and they have the most adorable little family. They have so much love among them.
Combining the lack of alone time and the all consuming nature of having a baby in the house, I stopped blogging. Besides, you would have stopped following because every post would have been MY GRANDSON IS BEST ON EARTH, PASS IT ON. Coupled with pictures I probably don’t have the right to share 🙂
(Mandatory photo share, here)
(above is from a “photo shoot” for a “Wanted” poster for his 1st birthday cake!)
Ok, moving on.
In January of this year I got promoted again. And by promoted again I mean, taking on an additional role for a small raise. A role which changed in title without warning on the first day. So, I am a project manager now at two companies. It has the same challenges as the year before when I was working for both companies but this time, with much more added stress! Yay! All in all, I work from home still so-I manage.
Salon job is the same, still working there about 15-20 hrs a week. It’s steady, love my clientele, all that good stuff. Nothing too interesting one way or the other there.
For awhile there, I was not adding to my routine by much. The good news there is I finally got through my closet “store” and managed to use up all my extras, which was needed. I found a new outlet for my disposable income (see adorable baby above) and the 3 of them living with me in my tiny house was a strain on my resources.
That is turning around a bit now. So among other things I seem to have more time for, my routine has gotten back to being more…..routine.
But during those times when I needed time away from my household, I would sneak my stash into my office and declare it was Grandma’s time and indulge. One of the things that kept me sane. That and wine. A whooole lotta wine.
I can’t believe what has happened to me though. I am kinda a Peach & Lily convert. I can’t even believe I am saying this out loud. But now, I get it. I get why sometimes you just don’t have the time or desire you once did to pour over a dozen foreign websites, scoping out new products and deals. That used to be so exciting to me. But anymore- I just want to put stuff on my face and let someone else do the curating. For shame, I know 😦
Back in November of ’17, after 6 years of helping and convincing my mother to sell her
hoard house we finally got an offer. Trouble was, the buyer wanted occupancy in 14 days. As much work as we had done, we were still far away from turning the house over. The very next day, my mother broke her shoulder. Yours truly ended up packing, hiring movers, unpacking and many other details that made me hate my siblings in those 14 days. While also working. While also playing nurse. If you know our relationship, it was twice as stressful as it sounds.
I did go on vacation in early June. Oddly enough, the kids found out they were approved to move into their new place 2 days before I left. I lucked out big time. Not only did I spend my vacation with way less stress-knowing they would be moved out when I returned but, I got to miss the packing/moving chaos. Except for the aftermath. Just picture the first apartment or two you ever had and moved out of as a 20-something. That is what my house looked like. A wasteland of strewn papers, miscellaneous photos, some trash, random pacifiers. Oh and a couple empty beer cans from their “helpers”. I took it in stride as I had just come off of a glorious and relaxing vacation and I knew once the mess was cleaned, there once again would be no one making more but me.
I admit I was a little sad for a couple weeks. I missed the baby. I missed him badly. When you have your own child to love and hold and kiss endlessly, you don’t realize how much you miss it. Sure, friends and family can have babies you can hold and if you are creepy, you can approach strangers and ask to hold their kids. (a strong desire to but, not doing because, weird) But your grandchild living at your house? Omg, the love and kisses and cuddles and diapers and the smell of a baby. It’s heaven. Especially when you do not have the added component of laying up at night wondering if you can afford college, or hope you always have good healthcare. Or wonder why on earth your baby had to be born into a Trump presidency…..
I felt like someone took my own child for a little bit. I had a sick feeling in my stomach all the time and couldn’t sleep. Once I finally admitted this to my daughter……well let’s just say we try to make sure I see him often so I don’t get too sad lol
I am lucky enough to have 2 living grandparents somehow. At 45 (YEAH I TURNED 45 A COUPLE MONTHS AGO TOO YIPPPPEEE) that’s something. Grandpa still lives alone at 93. 3 years ago Grandma moved to a nursing home. 2 weeks ago we found out she has at least 2 massive tumors in her chest. 2 weeks ago, she was placed under Hospice care. They are doing hospice within her nursing home which is good because she is familiar. It is also over an hour drive for me so getting out there daily, mixed with work has become really exhausting.
I have no regrets. I have some family who’ve not spent as much time with her as I have in my life. As sad as I am/will be when she passes…we’ve spent years expressing our love and having all those little conversations that mean so much. Basically waiting for someone to die is hard and weird and sad. Every other day I get the news “today may be the day’. Every other day I change plans, mostly work and rush to see her. Every other day, she is a little better. It’s such a roller coaster.
The upside is she absolutely adores my grandson and he loves her too. So taking him with us helps everyone. It’s much harder to be sad with a baby around.
I am fine. I am good. I am tired. I am not always fine. I live through each day like anyone else.
There is not much else exciting to report sadly. I don’t have much free time and when I do, I mostly am too tired to be social. But that isn’t unlike me really either.
The thought of dating again crosses my mind. Then the idea of matching a bra and underwear seems so stupid I just forget it.
That’s about all. For consistency sake, I will post my current routine: (shopping links provided where applicable-only referral link is the P&L link above)
- I have stopped using Micellar water on non make-up (most days) days. I exclusively use Bifesta Bright Up Cleansing cloths. Judge me.
- Ground Plan 24 Hour Secret Mist– I was so skeptical. I am still kinda mad at myself for trying it and liking it so much. It’s a stupid price considering it’s mostly Witch Hazel. But it’s WH mixed with MAGIC.
- Wishtrend Mandelic Acid 5% Prep Toner– I love all things Mandelic/Lactic
- Benton Snail Bee Essence (as per usual. I buy from whomever is selling at the best price when needed). I now mix it as a step w The Ordinary Marine Hyaluronics.
- Toosowong Propolis (whoever has best price, lately-Amazon) I also now mix with either The Ordinary Reservatrol/Fruelic or The Ordinary EUK 134.
- SkinRX Lab Madecera Essence
- If I am sheet masking-enter here.
- P&L Glass Skin Refining Serum– Believe the hype, for real.
- Current rotation of “summer” moisturizers:
- Glow Recipe Watermelon Glow Pink Juice Lotion and Sleeping mask
- Saturday Skin Balancing Act Skin Smoothing Lotion
- P&L Matcha Pudding Antioxidant Cream
- P&L/Peach Slices Citrus Honey Aqua Glow
- Sleeping masks, sticking with the ol standby of Mizon Goodnight White (I CANT STOP) and Sulwhasoo.
- Waiting for arrival:
- P&L KBeauty Rescue Balm
- Benton Snail Bee Ultimate Serum
(OH, also my Cureology-Vit C, Tret, Azelic)
After typing and tagging all that up, I am reminded what my boss said to me last time she was over and saw my skincare stash;
“You really should be better looking than you are with all that stuff you use”